Hello! Welcome, my new friend.
This is the place where you can be your unvarnished, raw, really real self.
Where you can share the good, the bad and the ugly.
This is a no judgement zone.
Second marriage and step-family life demand a lot of us.
- More compromising
- Planning
- Adjusting
- Sucking-it-up
- Stepping back
- Disengaging
- Keeping our opinions to ourselves
- Showing up as a muted version of ourselves
So much more than we ever imagined.
Wake-up calls to the realities of stepfamily life are daily occurrences.
All those expectations and visions of uniting two families to share in the love you and your husband have found go unrealized.
Instead, you crash into the realities of rejection, hostility, and passive-aggressive behaviors times 10.
And all this takes its toll on your second marriage. So unfair.
When we marry into a family of fully formed adults we must learn to contend with lot’s of strong personalities.
When my husband and I first fell in love, our five children were 18, 20, 20, 22, and 27. I had been divorced for 10 years, he had been separated for two. When we married four years later, the days of hands-on parenting were long behind us.
We thought the two of us were strong enough, smart enough, loving enough to carry ALL our “baggage” together. No problem.
We were referring to the “baggage” from the past. From my 20 year marriage and his 30 year marriage. From our families of origin. That baggage.
Who knew that trunk-loads of brand new baggage would be chucked on top of that pile in the course of our second marriage!
Adult children and stepchildren. Aging parents. Siblings and their spouses. In-laws. Exes. Grandchildren.
Let’s unpack all the baggage. His. Yours. Old baggage. New baggage.
All the expectations. The disappointments. The discomforts. The resentments. The frustrations. The anxieties.
And all the love. The hope. The potential for joy, happiness and growth.
The challenges. The successes.
All the baggage.
Building this community of women in second marriages with adult children and step children is the realization of a longing I once had.
I searched to find the place online which focused primarily on the challenges of remarriage later in life. On stepfamilies with adult children. On the stresses on second marriages for more “seasoned” adults.
We’re not co-parenting. Our children are grown. Sometimes they’re married and parents themselves. If our children come back to the roost, it’s adult children that pose a completely different set of challenges.
Visitation and custody issues are not on our radar.
But exes, aging parents, entrenched family culture certainly are.
We too need all the help and support we can get navigating the challenges of our new normal.
So, welcome to Second Marriage Solutions. It’s my fondest wish that you will find peace, solace and support in this community.
What do you wish were different or better about your second marriage or your relationship with your adult children or step children?
What are your biggest challenges and concerns?
What are you lugging around inside your heaviest baggage?
Grab your FREE Strategy Call with me so we can explore the issues that are bother you in your second marriage. Or within your step family.
