Love feels amazing! Every blessed day.
It’s one of the most powerful emotions you can create.
The experience of feeling love is 100% coming from within YOU.
It’s your thoughts and feelings which you make mean love.
When you think loving thoughts of your beloved, your heart swells with joy. You’re awash with that delicious rush of warmth and tenderness.
When your husband’s heart swells with love for you, it’s because he’s thinking loving thoughts about you.
The old adage, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” makes sense. You can love a person that’s not anywhere near your physical space. That’s because you’re thinking loving thoughts about them.
It’s people’s thoughts that light the fire.
You can love anyone you choose. They my be alive or dead. Near or far. Known or unknown.
Think about the crushes that people have on movie stars, rock stars, teachers, leaders. The object of their affection probably doesn’t know that they exist, yet the one who feels love can swoon with devotion.
Loving for the sheer joy of it
I remember loving Paul McCartney when I was in Jr. High School. I thought about him day and night. I imagined our life together. I felt a deep, reverential attachment to him. I wrote stories about our love.
Did he ever return my affections? Of course not. Did he need to do anything special for me to earn my love? Absolutely not!
I had no expectations whatsoever that the love would be returned. I loved him because it felt so wonderful to adore someone so amazing.
Paul McCartney was my first love. I will always think of him lovingly.
Feeling love never hurts.
It enriches, elevates, inspires and delights.
Withholding love feels awful. It can never protect you from hurt.
Withholding love because you fear future disappointment or loss actually creates hurt in advance. It robs today of its potential for joy.
When you withhold love, you are not punishing the other person. You are only punishing yourself, depriving yourself of loving feelings.
Withholding love is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.
How can we get better at loving and being loved?
Philosophers, poets and bards have pondered this question throughout the ages.
Since adolescence, we have been on a quest to find love, understand love and love to the best of our abilities.
While love is grand, unconditional love is miraculous!
How can you learn to create unconditional love in your life? Loving unconditionally is a skill that you can practice and perfect.
Most of us are walking around with the notion that we love someone because they make us feel happy and fulfilled. Because they “meet our needs.” Because we find them physically attractive. Because they’re smart, successful, and they love us.
Most of us only know how to love conditionally. Only when we believe the person is worthy or deserves our love.
Think about how your life might change if you loved unconditionally. From the place of loving the common humanity in us all.
Understanding unconditional love
Unconditional love means that you love someone no matter what. Even when they don’t meet your expectations.
It does not require that you place someone else’s needs above your own. Each person is responsible for meeting their own needs.
When you love someone, of course you want to do what you can to bring warmth, intimacy, caring and support into the relationship. You choose each other’s company and companionship.
You think the most loving thoughts about each other which creates the most loving feelings. These feelings drive the most loving actions and create the most loving experience.
You give your love without an expectation of reward for yourself. There is no quid pro quo required. No counting or measuring.
You love purely for the sake of feeling love. It is in the giving that the fullness of love is realized.
For how many years have you been trying to become more lovable?
Trying to make it easier for others to love you?
You don’t have to do anything to deserve love. Why?
Because someone’s ability to love you has ZERO to do with you. It has everything to do with them and their thinking.
Your lovability is absolute. Your were born lovable. You don’t need to change one thing to be more lovable. It is your human birthright to feel love. To create love.
Begin by practicing unconditional love of yourself.
Know you’re worthy of love. Cherish and appreciate yourself.
Your husband, even though he may deeply love you, can never love you enough to build your sense of self-worth.
You must build it yourself. Thought by thought. This, my friend, is purely an inside job.
It is the job of your intentional thinking.
One caveat: unconditional love is NEVER the reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship.
Unconditional love means that you love someone regardless of circumstances, not regardless of how they treat you.
When you love someone wholeheartedly, you decide to accept them for who they are.
But, if they violate your values or try to diminish your integrity, it is your responsibility to protect yourself. You must make the painful decision to let go.
And even in letting go and moving on, you can still feel love for what is good in them. Love for your common humanity.
If you want more love in your life, all you have to do is love.
You get to love whomever you want. Love when it’s hard to love. Love for it’s own sake.
Even when someone is mean to you or hates you, you still get to love them if you choose.
No one ever even has to know you love them for the feelings of love to feel good to you.
Love is a gift you give yourself, the ability to feel love, no matter what.
What does unconditional love look like in your life?
Not sure how to feel unconditional love no matter what? Let’s take a closer look at how you can begin to fill your heart with love.