We all understand the notion of self care. A luxurious bath by candlelight. A quiet corner and a good book. Binge watching a Netflix series.A good cut and color. A mani-pedi. A massage. A spa day. Lunch with a best friend. A girls weekend.
During the pandemic, some of these options are clearly out of the question. Others are still within the realm of possibility.
Not that we all practice self care as often as we could. But, we understand that it’s a good thing to indulge in pleasures that increase our sense of well-being. Until it isn’t.
Self care veers into the lane of self sabotage when the result of our choices has a net negative consequence.
A net negative consequence is a result in our lives that isn’t what we want.
Self-sabotage can arise from choices we make as a result of feeling annoyed, frustrated, anxious, bored, restless or just plain pissy.
In reaction to one of those emotions, we may adopt the JFI attitude (Just f*ck it.) or the IDI (I deserve it.) attitude or maybe the ISOM (I’ll start on Monday.) attitude.
These attitudes can easily be used to justify over eating, over drinking, over on-line shopping, “overing” all over the place. You get the picture.
Self care choices are made from the thoughts we think and the feelings those thoughts generate.
Thoughts that create peaceful, relaxed, warm and cozy, or loving feelings usually result in self care choices with net positive consequence. Therefore, we like the results of our actions.
We feel more deeply connected with loved ones. Our appearance is enhanced in a more pleasing way. We feel at peace with our choices.
But when we think thoughts that generate feels of frustration, anxiety, or annoyance and try to approach self care from that perspective, self-sabotage may be our unintended consequence.